September 27, M. hauled his stuff over to the base and climbed aboard a tour bus for a drive to Baltimore. He flew across the seas and stopped at various -astans before finally reaching his destination. He had a delay at one of those -astans on the way which resulted in sitting on tiny seats in full body armor for a long time. I’m sure he will elaborate on that later.

I continue to hunt the elusive work. Meanwhile, I teach when I get enough students, knit, and read and most recently have become involved in a D&D game utilizing Maptools and Google Groups. One of their players had to drop out due to young spawn and I happened to be in the right place at the right time to get invited. My previous, brief foray into DMing a game with Maptools meant I understood a good number of the functions and I was able to share this information with my fellow players and such. I was quite pleased to have been able to jump in so quickly and prove somewhat useful.

The DM is fantastic. The premise is exciting. He keeps the pace moving nicely. He assigns helper roles. He uses Google Groups to play out noncombat encounters throughout the week between game sessions which keeps everyone involved and interested all the time. His presentation is good. He adds plenty of flair to his storytelling. He seems organized. He’s creative. I’m in love.

He is involved in this webcomic.

My fellow players are great too. We have a diverse group. The abilities and storylines are all already intertwining so nicely – even with me joining last minute. It’s just about all I’ve been able to talk about for the last week. Well, this and winning First Place in the Adult Fancywork, Knitted Shawl/Stole/Vest category and subsequent knitting related plans. These things have both been a wonderful distraction from my continued unemployment and M.’s lack of presence.

M. is still pretty busy with transitioning and learning his purpose and so forth but when things settle down I am certain he will post.

Meanwhile, interested parties can read my character’s adventure log to follow along with what’s happening in the story from my ranger’s perspective here.

Sneak Preview

I thought I’d give you guys a few pics about the place I’m going. We received a welcome guide and it included a few pics, so I thought I’d share some.

This might be the type of room  that I get. There’s a slightly bigger style that has another bunk bed in it. Basically we’re stacked like chord wood. I wonder if they’re going to take a page from the Navy and institute hot bunking?

The weight room looks OK. I wonder what the wait time for machines/ weights is going to be…

And here’s a pic of what it’s going to look like in a few months.

Yes, Heather is correct, I do hate the cold. I grew up in SC, so I’m accustomed to much warmer weather. I have “thin blood” as we like to say. They talked about it reaching -20F but I expected that. But there’s a slight difference between my brain saying it’s cold versus my body saying it’s cold.

I’m also using this as a test run for living in Vermont. It’ll reach the same temperatures, so I’m considering this a similar environment and seeing how well I react. Of course where I’m going is sitting in a slight bowl, like Los Angeles, so it traps all the smog/ dirt/ shit in the air, whereas Vermont has some of the cleanest air I’ve ever breathed… and that whole terrorist business, but past that… the same!

 

-M

The Best of You

A Side:

My boss called me in today and finally talked to me about my EPR. He told me that he had a choice between giving me a “strong 4 or a weak 5″. He chose the former over the latter due to the fact that he thinks that I have more potential in me that’s not coming out. I have great potential, I’m just not living up to it. I’m not one of the top NCOs, but I’m also not in the bottom of the pile. A weak 5 would’ve been prefered.

He kept mentioning how he wanted to see me step up and be more active in the squadron, leading more. As he kept talking about this, I should’ve asked him exactly how he wanted me to step up, to give some concrete examples. Of course I was also thinking about something I’d been pondering all week and how it paralleled with what he was talking about.

Most of the MSgt’s, SMSgt’s and CMSgt’s that I’ve met have always talked about that one particular NCO that helped them out early in their career, that basically took them under his/ her wing and mentored them and helped mold them into the successful NCO/ leader  that they are today. This is usually done at a retirement ceremony, a change of command or a Commanders/ NCO call. Enough people have talked about his “mentoring” process/ experience that I’m fairly sure that it’s happening somewhere, just never where I am.

Now I’m not saying that I want someone to come and walk me thr0ugh everything, baby step like, but it would be nice to have someone I felt like I could go to and get help with issues, who I would be able to talk with plainly and get helpful advice back. Someone who would come in and just bullshit with me, unlike now when they come in to either a) just pass information along b) ream my ass for something or c) come to talk to the Airmen, bullshit with them and basically leave me out of the conversation.

I’m not looking for a buddy. I’m looking for a mentor.

Of course the big question now is, because of the amount of jade on me, would I be willing to accept him/ her if they were to appear now? I’m only 7 years and some odd months away from retirement. Most of the mentoring stories I’ve heard were about guys who had it happen in their first couple of years in, so honestly I think it’s too late for me. Which on some level I truely feel like I’ve been robbed of another military bonding/ heritage tradition. So essentially what’s left for me is to make sure that I pass on all that I’ve learned, good and bad, to my troops in a more constructive way than it’s been ground into me. Of course that answer in itself is another well worn military euphamism. Supervisors/ commanders always say… if you’ve had a bad supervisor, learn what not to do so you can pass that on and become a more effective supervisor!

Of course that’s little comfort if you continually get bad supervisors.

B Side:

I’m off for the next two weeks. I’m going to try my best to unwind and enjoy the time that I have with the family. I’m also going to try to get some more posts in.

Wish us luck!

 

-M

Were you born to resist

or be abused?

First Lines

I flipped through books in my library and M.’s library, books I have read and those I have yet to read, looking at just the first line. The first line of a novel. The first line of a short story. The first line of an essay. A writer’s first impression. The attention grabber. The warm wreath at the door welcoming you to knock.

I noticed I typically like shorter first sentences. I must admit that the fact I intended to write down the ones I liked most may have been a factor in my choices; however, I do not believe they were the only reason. Short, quick sentences shove readers right into the story. They are accessible. They are memorable. Uncomplicated. Immediate.

These were some of my favorites. What are yours?

“Every time it rains a ghost comes walking.” Timeskip – DeLint

“The person you have in mind is lost.” Impenatrable Forest – Atwood

“The subject today will be the metaphysics of obesity and I am the belly of a man named Lawrence Farnsworth.” Three Stories – Cheever

“After supper my father says, “Want to go down and see if the Lake’s still there?” Walker Brothers Cowboy – Munro

“I’m in the kitchen cooking spaghetti when the woman calls.” The Wind-Up Bird – Murakami

“In the town there were two mutes and, they were always together.” The Heart is a Lonely Hunter – McCullers

“I decided to grow a toothbrush mustache.” Becoming Adolf – Cohen

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number 4, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone – Rowling

“I had known him as a bulldozer, as a samurai, as an adroid programmed to kill, as Plastic Man and Titanium Man and Matter-Eater Lad, as a Buick Electra, as a Peterbuilt truck, and even, for a week, as the Mackinac Bridge, but it was as a werewolf that Timothy Stokes finally went too far.” Werewolves in Their Youth – Chabon

The Christmas Shack

I did my duty for country. I went to this damned function and made sure not to laugh or roll my eyes when they talked about how helpful they will be to the spouses of the deployed. In my experience, this has never been the case, and this isn’t my first shindig.

I may have made a face or two but I’m only human.

I was told that deployments from this base were different from other deployments I may have experienced but all the information for the spouse at home was recycled. The only somewhat new but not at all surprising bit of information was that there are people here in the states looking to trick and take advantage of the spouses of deployed military. Thank you assholes for supporting our troops (by you assholes I mean the swindlers, not our dear readers).

We got to see pictures of the tiny little box where he will work and the tinier little box where he will live, assuming he gets to live in a box instead of a tent. He acts like he’s about to turn into a popsicle at any moment when it’s 30 degrees here in the South. The -14 temperatures of his new temporary home should be a joy. The food is bad. The toiletries are expensive when they actually have anything in stock. It sounds wonderful.

One of the other people attending accidentally dropped a bottle which shattered at my sandaled foot, resulting in at least 2 shards of glass embedded in my skin. At least I took something from this meeting.

Same ole same ole

A Side:

In the Air Force you get a annual review of your performance. It’s called an EPR (Enlisted Performance Report). It’s suppose to reflect, essentially, how productive you’ve been over the past year. I got my final EPR today and out of a rating of 1 through 5, I got a 4. A 4 is labeled “Above Average”, which should be a good thing. Except it’s not. Getting anything less than a 5 is a pretty much a death stroke to your promotion chances. See, during the yearly promotion cycle, one of the factors in computing points used towards promotions is your last 5 EPRs. If you have all 5’s, you get max points (which I think is like 132 points; can’t remember atm). Anything less than a 5, then you start subtracting points.

I thought this might be coming, given how the Air Force is trying to “revamp” the EPR system and make them more “meaningful”. “Not everyone can be a 5!” is a chant that’s routinely heard. Of course, when everyone is doing outstanding work, or doing as outstanding a job they can at a job that can be performed by trained banana loving monkeys, then you see the shortcomings of this mantra. I hope it comes as no shock to the management when they find out that every one of my troops, including myself, want to retrain out of the career field. Actually, I hope it does come as a shock. It might wake them up and make them ask, why they heck does nobody want to stay here and/ or in the career field?

But it won’t. They’ll find more cogs to replace the ones that left. The machine will keep moving without issues being addressed.

B Side:

We have a dinner tonight that we have to go to. Neither one of us wants to do it. It’s being hosted by my unit and their goal is to try to give out more information to the spouses to make them better informed about… stuff… while I’m deployed.

If you want to make my wife happy at the moment, please give her a fucking job. She’s been here over a year, has tons of education and lots of experience. Give her a job so we can have a bit more money so we can get caught up on bills so we don’t have to keep looking at our checking account swearing Chris Angel has been in there playing “Watch as I now take the money from here and make it… disappear!”

 

-M

I am leaving I am leaving

but the fighter still remains

Pepper Cheddars

I have often thought about making homemade dog treats for my two beastly fidos. It stayed in the thinking about it realm until yesterday.

I happened to have the things on hand to make a biscuit I dubbed Pepper Cheddars after my older dog. We mixed all the ingredients and rolled them out. The Pepper Cheddars are made with whole wheat flour, all purpose flour, cheddar cheese, milk and butter. No additives, preservatives, dyes, byproducts, or other weird stuff you find in commercial treats.

They smelled pretty good when they were baking. I’m not dillusional enough to think they are always going to smell good. Any treats with livers in them will probably be pretty disgusting. These were okay though. They tasted like hard biscuits people would eat. They were crunchy on the outside but soft on the inside, which I thought was a nice touch.

The dogs were aware that something was going on. They were excited while we were making the treats, most likely because we kept saying dog. They were thinking yes, that’s me! They watched us carefully. Waiting.

When we were ready for a treat test run, they stood side by side waiting for their treat. We gave them each one. After a small taste, our terrier was ready to eat your face off if you looked like you changed your mind about letting her have it. Both dogs were quite happy.

Our dogs are, well dogs. They don’t shun food very often. They always act half-starved even though they are fed plenty. I do not think they would have passed up the biscuits as long as they were relatively edible. That said, it seemed to me that the dogs were super excited. More excited than usual. They both threw their paws up for a shake blindingly fast after their first taste.

If I continue to be unable to find work in this stinkin town, I may have to consider trying to sell these kind of things. I did have fun making them.

Things You Shouldn’t Feed Dogs

Everyone knows you don’t feed dogs chocolate. Chocolate is toxic. Do you know what other foods are bad for dogs? Avacodos upset their stomachs. Onion upsets their stomachs. Garlic should only be used in very small amounts. Macademia nuts can cause paralysis! Grapes and raisins are toxic.

Dog treats can be pretty easy to make and very enjoyable and healthy for the dog. It’s also less expensive than commercial treats, using a lot of ingredients you might use to make things for yourself.

No lube for this inspection!

A Side:

Our unit is going through a Unit Compliance Inspection this week and we’re almost finished. A UCI is done every couple of years and makes sure that we’re following proper guidance and procedures, following Air Force Instructions, DoD policy, other types of official guidance, and assess how well we’re doing. They assess lots of areas such as training, safety, technical orders (our maintenance instructions), our equipment accounts and a lot of other areas. Essentially, they’re coming in to see if we’re doing our jobs right.

The upside to the inspection is that it can identify deficient areas and give possible solutions. The downside to the inspection is that it can identify deficient areas… overall it’s a good thing. We’ve been prepping for this for the past 6- 8 months. Some programs have had to be totally revamped. Some programs we’ve had to recreate. Some programs were pretty good, just needed a bit more polish.

The biggest thing is that we’re just glad that it’s done. Like I said, it’s eaten into almost 8 months of our time. Doing nothing but UCI prep, in which time I haven’t been able to properly train on equipment and other tasks that I need for my upcoming deployment. One of my several relatively new bosses wondered why I was only at 47% completion on training. Even though I have a pretty good answer, they never want to hear it. So I just respond with, I’ll try harder/ I’ll try to find more time/ I’ll try not to spend so much time with my greedy family… /shrug. It’s the usual military motto. Continue to work harder with less personnel/ time/ money.

B Side:

Not much else going on besides the UCI. I’m rereading the Harry Potter series and I’m up to book 4. I’m trying to read a book a week, but sometimes it takes me two. I’ve just been really tired. Hopefully I finish out the series before I leave in October. Don’t want to have to lug around a 10lbs book 7 with me everywhere I go!

Also, regarding “frenemy”… I seriously believe the human race is just becoming more stupid with each passing month. Not only do I blame it on slack ass parents who allow kids to continue to slaughter the English language, but I blame it on our continuing obsession with texting and the 24 hour entertainment news cycle that continue to promote this kind of bullshit language. Yes language evolves, but this is regression that you can track on a daily basis. I feel so sorry for all language teachers in our schools and colleges. You seriously have my deepest sympathies.

 

-M

 It’s not going to come out like I want to say it

cause I know you’ll only change it

 

PS- I tried to keep this entry light and not get into the parts where I’ve recently been called a “substandard NCO” or a “lazy ass”. Only so many times I can think about that.

Conversation @ The Movies

M. – What’s a Frenemy?

Me – It’s what you call a person formerly a friend, now your enemy.

M. I just call them assholes.

Me – I agree.

Wood pt 2!

Piggy backing on what Heather said, this was a really really tough project for me. I’m trying to get into woodworking, but it’s been hard. So far it’s like a blind man trying to paint face on a small minature model. Sure, he knows in his minds eye what it should look like (roughly…) but translating that onto the face is close to impossible. Basically that’s my problem right now. I’m unable to translate what’s in my head onto the canvas. I know that I need more practice (that’s my second piece, my first being a chess board that I made for my parents 25th anniversary), but it’s just frustrating. I have so many ideas that are materializing in my head, so many things that I want to create for our house, but I don’t have the ability to make my hands match what I’m thinking. Add to that my inability to translate schematics… well lets just say that I’m keeping my eye out for a understanding teacher who’s looking to take on a hapless student!

Anyways, I’m really happy with how it finally turned out. I’m even more happy to have my home theater back up and running. I still need to get my massive sub hooked up so I can have the last little bit of my sound rounded out, but for now it’s such an improvement that I’m enjoying watching old movies all over again. The system in combination with my blu-ray player is making the local movie theater look like a turn of the century black and white silent theater.

One of the things that Heather has come to accept is the fact that I love to tweak all the adjustments. Now I don’t go in and just start adjusting things all nilly willy, but I have the software to do most of the major tests in correcting black/ white level, color, sharpness… lots of little adjustments for the TV that when added up equals a very impressive feature. I also go through all the menu’s on the receiver to ensure that the speakers are all set up and working properly… yes I’m a audio nut/ nerd. And like I said, Heather has come to like it because after I’m done, it sounds and looks very good. So the hour that I spend setting each piece up is well worth the time.

 

-M

There ain’t no rest for the wicked

till we close our eyes for good